People with high EQ often get certain advantages in work and life. They have rules of life to never put themselves in an awkward situation.
You can use these rules at work and at home to avoid getting into unexpected situations. And when it comes to awkward situations, these rules will help you find solutions. Besides, using the following 5 rules also helps you understand and manage your emotions and the other person’s well.
1. The “blue dolphin” rule to control positive thinking
In psychology, the term “white bear” indicates that the more you try to suppress certain thoughts, the more often they appear in your mind. This concept is taken in a work of the Russian writer Fyodor Dostoevsky. “Try doing this: Even if you try not to imagine the polar bear, it’s appearing more and more every minute and every second.”
Everyone has their own “white bear”. Here “white bear” can be understood as the feeling of anxiety and restlessness before a meeting. Or when you want to buy something expensive but the more you ignore it, the more you want to own it.
So, how do you deal with that “white bear”? The answer is that you need a “blue dolphin”. “Blue dolphin” is an alternative thought that helps you shift your focus when “white bear” comes to mind.
If the “white bear” is the anxiety before every presentation or public speaking, you can replace it with a “blue dolphin” saying to yourself: I’m so excited to do this. This is a way to help you turn potential negatives into positive values.
2. The rule of silence when in an awkward situation
When faced with challenging questions, instead of answering immediately, you stop for a few seconds and think deeply about what you want to say.
You can spend 5, 10 or even 15 seconds (or longer) before giving a response. If you’re not used to doing this, you may feel awkward at first. But this rule is a great tool for critical thinking.
When faced with challenging questions, it is easy to lose control of your emotions and say something you don’t really want to say. Pause for a moment before answering, you’ll be in control of the situation. You give yourself time to think things through. At the same time you increase your confidence and are sure of what you want to say.
3. Scope rule
Everyone wants to do great things, but not many people understand what it takes to do it. That is why there are not many good ideas and there are very few people or companies that can implement them.
The term “scope” is used to describe in detail what is involved in the time, effort and effort involved in getting the job done. As you can imagine whether working on a complex or simple project, scoping is very important. It will help you reduce stress and work smoothly.
4. Diamond Rule
No one likes to be criticized but we all need it. Because this is the best way to learn and grow. In Justin Bariso’s book EQ Applied: The Real-World Guide to Emotional Intelligence, he compares negative feedback to a newly mined rough diamond. rough, rough stone, but if honed, polished, that ugly stone will become priceless.
Criticism is like an unpolished diamond: It’s ugly. But just as a professional diamond cutter can transform a rough, unpolished stone into something beautiful, you can also learn to extract benefit from harsh criticism.
For most of us, any criticism is usually labeled as criticism that others use for personal attacks. We respond by withdrawing from ourselves, or trying to bring down the critic. That leads to you closing your mind and ignoring what other people say.
But there’s a problem you rarely admit: Criticism often stems from the truth. Just because you’re smart and hardworking doesn’t mean you never make mistakes. You can feel bad if someone sees and reminds you that you have a loose shoelace or a misaligned button. But isn’t it thanks to those honest comments that you can take a look at yourself before entering a meeting or meeting an important partner?
Of course, there are also some people around us who will make blunt, insensitive criticism. But even in these cases, criticism is valuable – because it helps you see your actions from a different perspective. From there you can adjust your behavior so that it is in line with common standards.
5. Refresh Rules
This involves taking the time to reaffirm your goals, values, and principles – even a written list. Then make them the center to help focus thoughts and feelings.
This is necessary because we are surrounded by too much work. By taking the necessary time to reaffirm your goals and write down what’s important, you’ll bring your thoughts back to the center. And psychology teaches us that controlling our thoughts allows us to control our emotions.